Theory of Evolution
by Hyarrowen
Summary: Team dynamics, as seen through the eyes of a distinguished naturalist. Crossover with "Life on Earth", but not as worrying as it sounds. Sam/Gene. No gorillas were harmed during the writing of this fic.


**Theory of Evolution**

Hyarrowen

Life on Mars/Life on Earth crossover

Pairing: Gene/Sam

Word count: 900

Genre: Slash, first time, humour, T

Disclaimer: Not mine, belong to BBC/Kudos and the Natural History Unit. Not making any money out of this (or anything else.) _Grovelling_ apologies to The Presenter.

"Here in the shadowy world of the urban jungle we find, confusingly, that evolution appears to have gone into reverse. This society is very different from the peaceable kingdom of the mountain gorillas."

The presenter, clad in smoke-blue shirt and khaki trousers, is barely visible in an overlooked corner of the large room. He pauses as figures move through the gloomy haze, and then continues in a near-whisper, "Body language shows a well-developed and rigidly-enforced hierarchy. Females, though vital to the continuation of the species, are lowest in social status."

A door to one side of the room opens. "All the members of the group turn nervously as 'Light-hair' appears. As in most primate societies, he is the biggest and most powerful member of the tribe, and as we have seen with the Mandrills, he is also the most brightly coloured. And it seems that he is intent on reinforcing his dominance."

The presenter retreats further into the shadows as Light-hair advances into the middle of the group. "Almost all of the tribe display signs of nervousness, backing quietly away, cringing down to reduce body size, looking anywhere but at Light-hair. They are avoiding any behaviour that will attract his attention to themselves."

Light-hair stops in front of a desk and leans his hands on it, looming over the smaller, slighter male whose territory it is. With all eyes in the group surreptitiously watching the pair, the presenter risks coming out of his corner and moves swiftly to a shadowed area by the opened door. "Light-hair is now trying to intimidate the beta male, Dark-hair, a relative newcomer to the group. Though his supporting faction consists merely of the lowest-ranking male and the only female, his intelligence has enabled him to quickly establish a place in the hierarchy."

Dark-hair rises from his sitting position and places his own hands on his desk, exactly mirroring the alpha male's position. Light-hair leans further into the desk-territory, reinforcing verbal attempts at intimidation with a finger jabbed aggressively at the beta male's face. Dark-hair responds by picking up a file, leafing through it and producing several sheets of paper which he sets rapidly down, next to each other, on Light-hair's side of the desk. His own finger jabs at various points on each sheet. He appears to be responding vigorously to the alpha male's verbal assault.

"Now this is an interesting development. Dark-hair refuses to be intimidated. He does not back down. Instead he invades Light-hair's personal space, on the pretext of making points in a matter which has nothing to do with the actual battle of wills."

Both males are now leaning over the desk, practically nose to nose as the confrontation escalates. All the other group members abandon pretence of busyness as they watch, some fearfully, others with enjoyment, the battle for leadership. The gesticulating across the desk becomes more vehement.

The presenter just has time to say "It appears to be high noon in the urban jungle - ," before Light-hair reaches a long arm across the desk, grabs Dark-hair by his clothing, and begins to haul him bodily towards the open door. With nowhere else to go, the presenter ducks hurriedly through it and hunkers down next to another desk as Light-hair kicks the door closed on his territory. Dark-hair is hurled against a filing cabinet and the alpha is immediately in his face, using his greater weight and bulk to prevent any escape attempt.

"Notice how Light-hair, here in the heart of his territory and away from the watching eyes of the group…" but the presenter's voice trails off as Dark-hair's face suddenly registers amused surprise with the characteristic eyebrow-flash and teeth-baring of the species. Light-hair, taken aback, retreats half a pace, but this time it is the beta male who seizes his clothing as well as his hair and drags him back, pressing a leg against his groin and hauling his head down to kissing level.

Recovering fast, the presenter remarks, "Dark-hair has made a surprising move. In a single moment, the whole balance of power within the group has shifted. He has established temporary dominance over the older male in a bloodless coup."

The males are now struggling to loosen parts of each other's clothing without slackening either the embrace or the kiss. They are oblivious to all else. Seeing his chance, the presenter leaves the shelter of the desk and darts out of the door, shutting it behind him with an air of relief. He slips into the shadow of a tall cupboard.

"Who can tell whether the new order will prevail? In all probability there will be many more battles for dominance before the leadership question is finally resolved. For the present, however, intelligence has won out. Here in the urban jungle, survival depends on more than brute force and the theory of evolution has been vindic- "

But at this point there's a crash of furniture and a stifled moan from the small room the presenter has just left. His air of relief turns to a hunted look and, without even attempting to comment, he retreats at speed through the double doors of the main room.


End file.
